Cultivate patience as you face trials

 

By Corrie Lynn Player

Apr. 12, 2018

 

I’ve written several columns about cultivating gratitude for trials, having faith and waiting on the Lord. A related topic is cultivating patience in this world of increasing impatience, incivility and downright nastiness.

Patience is a virtue, one which refines the spirit.

It builds inner strength and enhances relationships.

Although it’s a virtue I try to cultivate, I have a long way to go toward making it part of my character!

For example, I found the following journal entry I wrote a few years ago during my mother’s last illness.

Last night I took Mama to the bathroom at 11:30 and was in bed by midnight. Then my intercom phone jolted me out of a sound sleep about 2 a.m. Mama said, “I’m peeing. What should I do?”

I heaved a huge sigh and stumbled downstairs.

I said, “You have heavy pads on. So I don’t have to get up with you every two hours!”

I was irritated and spoke sharply to her.

She hung her head, saying, “I’m sorry. Shall I just go back to sleep?”

Still irritated, I told her to get up, “now that I’m standing here,” and marched her into the bathroom.

My anger was evident, and I’m sure she felt it.

As she sat on the toilet, she pulled off one pad. I gave her another and I told her to count how many she had altogether (four).

Then I asked her how many she wore during the day when she went potty every two hours (one).

I need to apologize for my impatience and reassure her that I love her and am glad she’s living with me. No matter how difficult, I shouldn’t let my tired body dictate how I treat my mother.

As I read those words, I cried, because Mama no longer calls me at 2 a.m. I can sleep through the night without interruption.

I wish I could go back and change my irritated response, but I can’t. I can’t even change what I said or did five minutes ago.

The years of caring for Mama have ended, and I’m at a different place in my life.

I’ve learned that expressing impatience or other negative emotions to my family is hurtful—for them and for me.

I’m learning I must turn such feelings over to my Savior, Jesus Christ. He will accept them and heal my heart by granting me a portion of who He is.

I don’t have to endure pain and guilt for something I truly regret.

Like some folks, you might think that anger, irritation, annoyance, etc., shouldn’t be suppressed or they’ll make you sick.

In reality, such emotions can, over time, cause depression, anxiety and other physical or mental illnesses, which is why I advocate that you turn your sorrows over to God and His Son.

Placing your burdens at His feet involves a whole lot more than wanting the pain to go away, however.

It takes prayer—looking to Him constantly and steadfastly instead of at yourself so you lay aside the “old man” and put on the “new man,” meaning the power of the mind, heart and spirit of Christ.

It takes study—studying His character, His love and His word in faith so you are truly transformed in the process.

It takes work—stepping outside yourself and working with Him to reach out to others who need solace and service.

Take a deep breath, pray for the strength to curb your tongue and acknowledge your complete dependence on and need for Help from Above.

Utah’s own was Father of Television

 

By Corrie Lynne Player

Feb. 8, 2018

 

Headlines “David Defeats Goliath!” and “Farm Boy Inventor Wins” blared from newspapers across the country on May 13, 1938. On that day, the examiner for the United States Patent Office, for the second time, awarded priority to Philo T. Farnsworth for inventing the scanning tube.

David Sarnoff, the owner of RCA (Radio Corporation of America), had tried to buy out, wait out, and finally steal the Farnsworth patents.  Not only did Philo establish priority, but he proved he had conceived the idea in February 1922 when he was 15 years old.

Sarnoff would have liked to ignore Philo and concentrate on the work of Vladimir Zworykin, his chief research scientist, but the patent court judgments and the denial of appeals forced him to recognize Farnsworth’s position as the first inventor of all electronic television and the real Father of Television.  How such a moment came about is a Twentieth Century Horatio Alger story more fascinating than any fiction.

Born in Beaver, Utah, Philo came into a family that didn’t have many of the things you and I take for granted. However, his rural background and lack of education didn’t limit his vision. He was only 12 when his electronic television idea came into his mind, while he plowed beet fields.  By the time he was old enough to vote, he had caught the attention of world class financiers and the most powerful thinkers of his day. He was a brilliant scientist who charmed kings and presidents and mesmerized the technical world.

By the time RCA had to “cross license” with Farnsworth Television, Philo’s company owned more than 75 crucial patents, including the Electric Oscillator System which breaks the picture into individual electrons for transmission, the system of Pulse Transmission which sends the electrons to their destination, the Image Analysis Tube which picks up the electrons and the Image Receiving Tube which reassembles the electrons.

Unfortunately, unlike the Father of the Telephone, Alexander Graham Bell, and the Father of the Light Bulb, Thomas Edison, Philo’s name slipped into obscurity after his death. Although David Sarnoff and RCA were forced to pay Philo for using his patents, they managed to push him so far out of the history books that people forgot about him after his death in 1971.  Television article writers for World Book, Britannica, and Encyclopedia Americana were all RCA employees or former employees.

But, largely because of the school children of Utah and the efforts of his family, most people today remember Philo T. Farnsworth. In the mid-Eighties, he was inducted into the National Inventor’s Hall of Fame, and the Post Office issued a stamp bearing his portrait as part of their commemorative series about “The Greatest Minds of the 20th Century.” The placement of his statue in Statuary Hall at the Capitol Rotunda in Washington, D.C. on May 2, 1990 restored him to his rightful place in history. He stands beside Brigham Young, as one of the two men Utah is most proud of.

Unfortunately, members of Utah’s Senate seem to be ignorant of the treasure that is Philo T. Farnsworth. For some reason, political machinations are more important to them than acknowledging that Philo was not just a noteworthy citizen of our state but one of the greatest creative minds of the 20th Century. His work impacted the world and helped shape our culture. In addition to TV, he invented the incubator that has saved millions of premature infants. He also invented infrared night vision equipment, essential for law enforcement and the military.

I believe that members of the House of Representatives will be smarter than their colleagues in the Senate. They will vote “no” on bill SCR 1. Join me in educating those who hold the honor of a brilliant man in their hands.

Watch out for your kid’s dusting activity

By Corrie Lynn Player

Jan. 11, 2018

 

Nope, this column isn’t about monitoring your kid’s helping around the house.

It’s about a deadly fad among kids, especially those between the ages of 8 and 18, even good kids who proudly wear their “D.A.R.E.” buttons.

A couple of months ago, a man named Jeff wrote my Moms of Teens group about discovering his 15-year-old son, Kyle, dead in his basement bedroom. This son had the straw of a container of Dust Off in his mouth.

Jeff was a police officer for a city known nationwide for its crime rate and worked with a K-9 drug-sniffing dog, Thor. Thor was wounded in the line of duty and retired to live with Jeff and his family.

Jeff said he kept Thor in practice and was happy in the knowledge that drugs couldn’t be smuggled into his house. Jeff said he and his wife constantly talked to their children about the dangers of drugs and to guard against drugs.

He thought they were protected.

Kyle’s autopsy showed only Dust Off in his system—no other legal or illegal drugs.

Jeff found out from Kyle’s best friend that a boy who lived down the street from them showed Kyle how to “dust” about month before his death. Kyle told his friend, “It’s just compressed air, and it can’t hurt you and it feels great!” His friend wisely said, “No.”

Jeff did some investigating because neither he nor his wife, who’s a nurse, had ever heard about the activity.

He found out that Dust Off gives a slight high for 10 seconds and makes the user dizzy, but it’s not just “compressed air.” It contains a propellant that’s like a refrigerant used in air conditioners. It’s a heavy gas, so it fills lungs and keeps oxygen out, which is why kids feel dizzy and buzzed.

Unfortunately, users have no warning about an overdose.

It doesn’t accumulate, and users don’t have physical warning symptoms, as with street drugs or alcohol.

Also, unlike many “huffing” products, Dust Off has no odor and leaves no telltale signs, which is why Thor didn’t discover it.

It can easily kill the first time—or the second or the third or any time.

And too many kids who don’t die think they’re safe, because not much conversation has gone on about it.

One of the moms in my group replied to Jeff’s posting, “My daughter and a friend of hers used this stuff a couple of years ago. Thank goodness nothing happened to either of them. When I found out what they had done, I researched the issue and showed my daughter exactly what can happen to you by doing this. What it can do to your brain if it doesn’t kill you—the whole scenario. It was enough to scare her into reality.”

Another mother said her daughter told her that “her entire middle school was aware of it and were doing it on a frequent basis, even at school. She said she called the school which denied that kids would be able to ‘dust’ anywhere near the building.”

Even kids who know better than to “huff” fumes from markers or paint thinner can be tempted by something so prosaic as high pressure air used to clean keyboards and innards of computers.

Jeff’s closing words were, “If I would have known about this stuff earlier, then it wouldn’t have been in my house. Using Dust Off isn’t new, and some professionals do know about it. It just isn’t talked about much, except by the kids. They seem to know about it.”

This police officer asks everyone to forward this warning to everyone in their address book, even law enforcement people.

Thankfully, the makers of Dust Off have added a bitterant to it, which now makes it quite unpalatable.

Go online and read for yourself why Jeff is so inconsolable and is on such a crusade since 2005 when his son died.

If you have children or grandchildren in the later grades of elementary school or in middle or high school, talk to them about “getting high.”

Explain that dizziness and odd sensations are their brain indicating something is wrong.

And tell them Kyle’s story.

Too much is never enough –

the paradox of abundance

By Corrie Lynne Player

Mar. 8, 2018

 

Much of the U.S. economy has sputtered and stumbled for the past several years, shocking those of us who’ve been accustomed to ever-increasing real estate values and soaring stock prices.

Bailouts and entitlement programs were touted as being the solution to unemployment and foreclosures.

It’s pretty obvious to me that spending trillions of dollars and swelling government payrolls isn’t doing much to put people back to work.

Now there are riots in Europe over cutting entitlement programs.

Rioting—loudly and destructively expressing your opinion—doesn’t accomplish anything. It just makes matters worse.

As a society, we seem to be focusing on all the wrong things. We’re more and more selfish, and we never seem to have enough. There’s something seriously wrong with a perspective that insists “my way or the highway” in personal and business relationships.

In many areas of the world, luxury consists of owning a bicycle and going to bed with a full stomach. Few people in those areas own their homes and wouldn’t understand our preoccupation with home ownership.

Not so long ago, early in the 20th century, my great-grandparents owned or rented simple, small homes without indoor plumbing or electricity. They and the rest of my family were grateful for enough food, warm shelter and reliable transportation.

Today, I’ve noticed considerable whining about being forced to put up with earbuds instead of wireless personal electronics. A friend told me her teenage son threw a tantrum about not having a touch-screen cellphone that downloads movies. I’m sorry to say that her situation isn’t unusual.

There’s a disconnect here that troubles me.

Instead of being satisfied with enough, too many of us want more.

The average size of an American house has nearly doubled in the last decade. Not coincidentally, that happened as the real estate bubble swelled to the bursting point.

Ingratitude and selfishness are rampant in our society, leading to obesity in our bodies and starvation of our spirits. The more we have, the further we turn away from God, the Source of everything good.

Repeatedly in scripture I read about the rich forsaking faith and trusting in what their fingers have made, raising idols of gold and silver to take the place of God.

Sadly, turning away from God doesn’t take very long.

Laziness and ease become habitual. Ruts grow deeper, and too many of us are less and less inclined to climb out of them.

Instead, I’d like to urge you (and me) to focus on what we can learn from the very real economic problems that beset us and the rest of the world.

Columnist Armstrong Williams spoke a profound truth when he said, “As we gain perspective and reaffirm our faith, obstacles in our path start to seem less obstructive and more instructive.”

When I read Williams’ words, I pondered what my husband and I could do as we’ve faced unreliable clients who failed to come through and pay for work already accomplished.

At first, I was up in arms, wanting to file “breach of contract” against those clients.

But I soon realized that nothing gets settled in court. Only the lawyers make money.

Instead, Gary and I have tried to use the time to open ourselves to opportunities in environmental engineering, ground water research and development, etc.

While we still are pursuing investors for the commercial application of our process patents, we’re spending more time interacting with our family and friends.

We’re even stepping beyond our comfort zones to help those less fortunate.

We try to give an act of service every day. Kind of ambitious, but the definition of service can be something as simple as sending a note to an ill friend or calling someone who lives alone.

We now know just how much we have to be thankful for and give praise to our God, the Source of abundance and life.

If you’ve discovered how to be happy with what you have instead of wanting more, please email me at heavenhelpusbeourbest@gmail.com.

Reflections on Blessings and Thanksgiving

 

By Corrie Lynne Player

Heaven Help Us

Nov. 23, 2017

 

The month of November, with Thanksgiving, starts what I believe is our most important holiday season. I thoroughly enjoy reflecting with family and friends about just how blessed I am. I live in one of the most beautiful places in the greatest nation on earth, a nation founded on God-given principles of “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.”

In my numerous decades of life, I’ve learned that celebrating where I am is much more satisfying than criticizing or complaining about my circumstances. A newspaper I write for dedicated a page to giving folks an opportunity to “vent” about problems in their lives or situations they wanted to see changed. While I think it’s important to push for changes when you can, I also believe that what you emphasize the most will become what’s most important. If you complain a lot, you will be much unhappier than if you smile more than you frown.

So, frankly, I choose to celebrate living in a free nation where the course of my life is under my control, to whatever extent I want to make the effort. I’m free to figure out and pursue a profession. Nobody is going to force me to be a mechanic when I’d rather be a musician. But I also know that nobody will pay me to play the piano or French horn if I have no talent or don’t want to practice hours and hours a day. The pursuit of happiness is definitely NOT the pursuit of pleasure.

While being happy is a very pleasant state, it doesn’t come from being rich, famous, or powerful. It doesn’t come from being entertained, eating fancy food, or lounging around, either. I think happiness is a process rather than an end in itself. Looking back over my years of change, challenge, and, sometimes, disappointments, I can see that the times I’ve been happiest are those when I’ve been most concerned about other people or situations outside myself.

Gratitude is a key component of happiness. If you feel cheated, jealous, or angry, you aren’t happy. You’re only happy when you recognize God’s hand in your life.

I like this story that a reader sent me a while ago:

The only survivor of a shipwreck was washed up on a small, uninhabited island. He prayed feverishly for God to rescue him. Every day he scanned the horizon for help, but none came. Exhausted, he eventually managed to build a little hut out of driftwood to protect him from the elements, and to store his few possessions.

One day, after scavenging for food, he arrived home to find his little hut in flames, with smoke rolling up to the sky. Stunned with disbelief, grief, and anger, he cried, “God! How could you do this to me?”

Early the next day, the sound of a ship approaching the island woke him.

When the rescuers waded out of the sea, he asked, “How did you know I was here?”

“We saw your smoke signal,” they replied.

It’s easy to be discouraged when things are going wrong, but please don’t lose heart. God is at work in your life, even in the midst of your pain and suffering. Remember that the next time your little hut seems to be burning to the ground it just may be a smoke signal that summons the Grace of God.

November is National Adoption Awareness month, so as you reflect about your own blessings, consider adding another child to your family. Just saying…

Optimism is much more comfortable than pessimism

 

By Corrie Lynne Player

Oct. 26, 2017

 

Are you an optimist or a pessimist? Do you see the glass as half full or half empty? How you perceive the world will affect whether or not you can be happy, no matter what happens around you.

Research shows that happy people live longer, healthier lives, have more energy, and enjoy better relationships. People who are more positive in the way they approach problems have fewer accidents, drug dependency, divorces, and illnesses. Numerous studies have borne out these facts, but you don’t have to read scientific journals to realize that being happy feels a lot better than being angry, sad, or guilty.

Dr. Ellia Gourgouris, a clinical psychologist, said, Depression, sadness, and unhappiness in general deplete you of energy, like you have this leak in your system … Happiness not only plugs up that leak but begins to build up a reserve.

Happiness is a choice, not something that is bestowed on you. I’ve discovered that the best way to be happy and optimistic is to perform acts of kindness. You will not only feel happy when you do something nice, but you will spread a bit of happiness to those who witness your kindness as well as the recipients of your acts.

I’ve seen so many kindnesses, like the man who noticed that the carton of milk an elderly woman tried to put on her walker kept falling off. He not only picked it up for her, he rearranged the groceries in her basket to solve the problem.  I was behind a handicapped man who was struggling to find enough change to pay for his bread and juice; the person at the end of the line stepped forward and handed the clerk $10, then walked quickly away.

I’ve discovered a couple of sure-fire ways to lift my mood. When I am in a long line at the movies, super market, or etc., I invite the person behind me to go first. That inevitably makes me feel good or even sparks a pleasant conversation much better than shifting from foot to foot and sighing with impatience.

I’ve also told someone about a compliment I overheard and enjoyed the smiles. I, too, smiled when one of his teachers told me that my 14-year-old son had bragged to a group of friends that his mom and dad were his heroes. I remembered that warm feeling the next time that 14 year old sulked in his room or argued with his sister.

In past columns I’ve asked you to share your ideas for spreading happiness. I’ve collected several. One woman sent an email saying that she enjoys slipping a gas card into someone’s shopping bag especially when she can do so without being noticed. Another reader said that she writes a note to the manager of the restaurant or retail store where she’s received good service.

Several of you mentioned your appreciation when your neighbor took your trash to the curb or mowed your lawn. I have a neighbor who has done this for me several times. And I can’t count how many times somebody has plowed my driveway or shoveled my walks.

Kindness can be spontaneous or planned. Just thinking about it can lift your mood and turn a gray day to sunshine. As the days grow shorter and winter begins, let’s all do our best to view our surroundings, especially our loved ones, with rose-colored glasses.

Columnist Corrie Lynne Player

Columnist Corrie Lynne Player

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Columnist Corrie Lynne Player

Columnist Corrie Lynne Player

A laugh a day improves everything

 

Corrie Lynne Player

Columnist

11-17-2016

 

For the last little while, I’ve been talking about facing challenges, overcoming sorrow and putting yourself into God’s hands.

This month, I’d like to shift gears a bit and share a few laughs with you.

Behavioral science has proved that we all need to laugh and smile as much as possible, no matter whether life is a bit rocky or you’re just cruising along without much trouble. Laughing improves muscle tone and improves your mood.

Trust me, one of these days you’ll find yourself sideswiped by a problem you never saw coming. So cut this column out and tape it on your fridge for future reference.

I’ve collected this particular set of chuckles over the past decades from conversations with friends and reading whatever I can get my hands on. I even watched part of a popular TV program that went on and on about how mid-life is a great time for women.

I turned it off because hot flashes and mood swings aren’t pleasant, let alone humorous. I do admit, however, that laughing about unpleasant realities is a whole lot better than whining.       Whether you are pushing 40, 50, 60, 70 (or maybe even just pushing your luck), you’ll probably relate to the following thoughts.

“Mid-life is when the growth of hair on our legs slows down. This gives us plenty of time to care for our newly acquired mustache.

“In mid-life, we don’t have upper arms, we have wingspans. We are no longer women in sleeveless shirts; we are flying squirrels in drag.

“Mid-life is when you can stand naked in front of a mirror and see your rear without turning around.

“Mid-life brings wisdom to know that life throws us curves and we’re sitting on our biggest ones.

“Mid-life is when you look at your know-it-all, earbud wearing, texting teenager and think: “For this, I have stretch marks?”

“In mid-life, your memory starts to go.  In fact, the only thing you seem to be able to retain is water.

“Mid-life means that the body you toned by faithfully exercising and counting calories has given you Legs By Rand McNally—more red and blue lines than an accurately scaled map of Wisconsin.

“Mid-life means that you become more reflective . . . You start pondering the “big” questions: What is life?  Why am I here?  How much Healthy Choice ice cream can I eat before it’s no longer a healthy choice?

But mid-life also brings with it an appreciation for what’s important.

We realize that breasts sag, hips expand and chins double, but our loved ones make the journey worthwhile.

Seriously, would any of you trade the knowledge that you have now, for the body you had way back when?  Maybe our bodies simply have to expand to hold all the wisdom and love we’ve acquired. That’s my point of view, any way.

I prefer President Monson’s advice to “Find joy in the journey.” Joy comes from focusing on the good stuff and ignoring anything that doesn’t actually need immediate medical attention.

Email me at heavenhelpusbeourbest@gmail.com and share your humorous thoughts about these sunset years. After all, we “seasoned” elders owe the world as much laughter and good thoughts as possible.

Columnist Corrie Lynne Player

Columnist Corrie Lynne Player

Optimism is more comfortable than pessimism

 

Corrie Lynne Player

Columnist

10-20-2016

 

Are you an optimist or a pessimist? Do you see the glass as half empty or half full? How you perceive the world will affect whether or not you can be happy no matter what happens around you.
Research shows that happy people live longer, healthier lives, have more energy, and enjoy better relationships. People who are more positive in the way they approach problems have fewer accidents, less drug dependency, and fewer divorces, and illnesses.
Numerous studies have bourne out these facts, but you don’t have to read scientific journals to realize that being happy feels a lot better than being angry, sad, or guilty.
Dr. Ellia Gourgouris, a clinical psychologist, said, “Depression, sadness, and unhappiness in general deplete you of energy, like you have this leak in your system…. Happiness not only plugs up that leak but begins to build up a reserve.”
Happiness is a choice, not something that is bestowed on you. I’ve discovered that the best way to be happy and optimistic is to perform acts of kindness. You will not only feel happy when you do something nice, but you will spread a bit of happiness to those who witness your
kindness, as well as to the recipient of your acts.
I’ve seen so many kindnesses, like the man who noticed that the carton of milk an elderly woman tried to put on her walker kept falling off. He not only picked it up for her, he rearranged the groceries in her basket to solve the problem.
I was behind a handicapped man who was struggling to find enough change to pay for his bread and juice; the person at the end of the line stepped forward and handed the clerk $10, then walked quickly away.
I’ve discovered a couple of sure-fire ways to lift my mood. When I’m in a long line at the movies, super market, or etc, I invite the person behind me to go first. That inevitably makes me feel good or even sparks a pleasant conversation—and it’s much better than shifting from foot to foot and sighing with impatience.
Sometimes I’ve told someone about a compliment I overheard about them, and enjoyed the smiles. I, too, smiled when one of his teachers told me that my 14-year-old son had bragged to a group of friends that his mom and dad were his heroes. I remembered that warm feeling the next time that 14-year-old sulked in his room or argued with his sister.
In past columns, I’ve asked you to share your ideas for spreading happiness. I’ve collected several. One woman sent an email saying that she enjoys slipping a gas card into someone’s shopping bag, especially when she can do so without being noticed.
Another reader said that she writes a note to the manager of the restaurant or retail store where she’s received good service.
Several of you mentioned your appreciation when your neighbor took your trash to the curb or mowed your lawn. I have a neighbor who’s done this for me several times. And I can’t count how many times somebody has plowed my driveway or shoveled my walks.
Kindness can be spontaneous or planned. Just thinking about it can lift your mood and turn a gray day to sunshine.

Choose not to be offended

By Corrie Lynne Player

 

I wonder why so many of us get so upset with each other. We notice the failings and faults in others without considering our own failings and faults. I’m including myself in these musings because I know that I, too, often “choose to be offended.” Most of us don’t consciously hurt other people. We may be oblivious, thoughtless, and too caught up in our own concerns, but we rarely say to ourselves, “I think I’ll see if I can really tick-off Mary today.”

I know of countless instances where no intent to hurt was present: someone reads an old journal and discovers that her best friend thought she was “a jerk” back in high school; a teenager stops coming to church because an old lady remarked at how “skimpy” her dress was; a preacher chastises his congregation for coveting and one of the listeners storms out because “he was talking about her,” or a daughter forgets her mother’s birthday and the mother sulks.

Hurt feelings can lead to much worse consequences. Ruptured relationships include divorces, church inactivity, and years-long estrangements.

I see this “choosing to be offended” in public discourse all the time these days: the neighbor who calls animal control for a loose dog from down the street; the protestor who files a grievance at a water hearing instead of talking to his neighbor; the man who ignores phone calls from his friend who wants to apologize about a misunderstanding; the breaking of contact for years because of a forgotten birthday or loan that is never repaid.

Years ago a woman I was friends with found out, through our annual newsletter, that I’d passed through her town on vacation and failed to call or visit. So, she wrote me that “if I were too busy to even call,” she wanted to be removed from our Christmas card list.

I was stunned.

I wonder why some of us choose to interpret everything negatively. I think we should give the other guy the benefit of the doubt. While we may forget to send the note thanking a friend for making us dinner, we genuinely appreciate the dinner and would be horrified if that friend interpreted our lapse as purposeful.

This whole subject ties in with the idea of forgiveness.

There’s a very good reason the Bible commands us to “forgive one another” and states unequivocally that we are “to forgive all men.” The scriptures don’t give any conditions for that forgiveness, either. There’s a reason—forgiving another for a slight or perceived offense calms a churning stomach and lets us sleep at night.

When we hold onto hurt feelings and grudges, we put our immune systems at risk. Science tells us that people who cannot laugh off the pettiness of others suffer from cancer, heart disease and stroke at a much higher rate than the general population. They also die an average of five years earlier.

What I’m trying to say is: taking offense will make you sick, damage your friendships, and erode your relationships. Forgiving those you love will heal your heart.