12-year old nephew takes his own life, apparent result of bullying at school
MORONI—How much tragedy can one family take?
That’s the question that comes to mind when you hear about what has happened in an extended Hispanic family from Moroni in the past month.
On December 21, Juan and Laura Rico Aguado of Spanish Fork and their daughter, Jackie, were on a vacation in their native Mexico when all three were killed in an auto accident.
Billie Jo Vasquez of Moroni, Laura’s mother and Jackie’s grandmother works at Utah Heritage Credit Union.
Then on Feb. 9, Drayke Hardman, 12, who lives in Tooele but is a member of the same extended Moroni family, took his own life, apparently more in response to bullying than the deaths of relatives.
Drayke was the son of Samie Hardman, who grew up in Moroni. Samie is another niece of Billie Jo Vasquez.
“Drayke’s personality was all about people. He loved to make people laugh. He loved to do what he could to always make sure that somebody had a friend,” said his mother, Samie.
Drayke’s family has taken to social media to raise awareness about bullying. They believe bullying starts in families and are asking parents statewide to talk to their children about the dangers of bullying and about standing up for kids who are being bullied.
They are going a step further. Using the moniker, “DO IT for Drayke,” they are asking parents to wake up and be better parents, to teach kindness and perceptiveness, and to instill self-confidence and resilience.
The Hardman family’s nightmare started on Wednesday, Feb. 9, when Drayke’s sister said she had a bad feeling, went to check on her brother and found him in a state she never could imagine. She shared on her social media page that she had never screamed so loud in her life for help.
The boy’s father, Andrew Hardman, is now asking the question, “What would cause a 12-year-old boy to lose so much hope in his heart that he would take his own life?”
The Hardman family said that stopping bullying has to begin at home.
“It has to come from somewhere; children aren’t naturally angry,” said Andrew. “So, for him [the bully] to attack my son to build his [own] confidence means he was lacking something. So, in a sense, this bully was also a victim, and that’s where we need to find the solution—[in] teaching our children that the world is broken, but they’re the generation that is going to fix it.”
The family encourages parents to talk to their kids about how to be kind to others.
“It’s a conversation not only do we as parents need to sit down and have with our kids, but it’s conversations we need to have with ourselves: Who are we as people? And what are we unknowingly teaching our kids?” Samie said.
“I am angry, and I’m hurt, and I’m broken, and yet part of me just wants this bully to find peace. To be fixed. To not have any other kids fall.”
As the word of the passing of young Drayke spread through the whole state on social media, former classmates of Samie, along with others, shared the discussions that were going to be held in their own homes that night.
One of those classmates said the immense heaviness she felt from the loss and the reasons for it reached a point where she had to do something about it. She sat down her four boys and her husband and through tear-filled eyes shared Drayke’s story.
She talked with them not only about never engaging in bullying, but how and why we should stand up for others who are being mistreated. They talked about being perceptive and noticing others—the kind of noticing that helps you see outside of yourself and perceive what life is like to other people so that you can act with kindness on what you perceive.
Cammy Shaw, a friend of Samie’s, said that we all need to take a step back and look at the behavior that we are modeling to our own children.
As a society, she continues, we are losing the ability of basic, healthy problem solving.
Are you trying to solve and take over every challenge your child comes across? If so, you’re not doing them any favors. They must learn these skills as a child; otherwise, as adults, their lack of coping skills can be detrimental.
“What a terrible loss our family has suffered due to bullying,” Billie Jo Vasquez, the aunt from Moroni asks. “What leads a 12-year-old to end his own life?”
“Kids are just trying to figure out who they are at that age and have all these new emotions. Then to add a bully on top of that, one who enjoys belittling a kid to boost their own image or ego. It is a shame. This didn’t have to happen.”
There have been some positives amid everything the Aguado, Hardman and Vasquez families have been through. There has been an outpouring of support on social media for the Hardman’s.
And following the deaths of the Aguados, Vasquez put a Card of Thanks in the Sanpete Messenger talking about the love and support the Moroni community had shown toward her family.
“It really is a wonderful thing when people in our community come together and rally around a family in need,” she wrote. “There are no words to explain the gratitude we feel…So thank you for all the blessings we have received.”
